"I don't care what dress we choose, I just need to get off this white carpet."
I've seen the movie Bridesmaids a few times, most recently on New Year's Eve. I think it's fun and silly, but one of my own bridesmaids feels that it's actually very sad in some ways. Albeit through crude jokes and shenanigans, it depicts the ups and downs of friendships, how they and people change over time, how a woman's place in life shifts over time, and how that affects relationships.
Part of our premarital counseling has involved reading and discussing A Good Beginning by Peter L. Velander. In the chapter called "Crossing the Bridge to Married Life," he states the following:
As you prepare to cross that bridge you should know that significant life changes -- like marriage -- do not take place without accompanying losses of some kind... As you make the transition to marriage, many changes will involve some form of loss. You feel positive and excited about what you are moving toward, and that is good. But it is okay to grieve the things you are leaving behind... You want to enter your new marriage with both feet, not leaving one foot behind in your single life. Recognizing the losses and changes that happen with your marriage and grieving them in a healthy way will help you bring your whole self into your new marriage.
No doubt friendships are affected by marriage. You have a spouse to consider and cannot spend all your time with friends anymore. If or when children come into the picture, you have more people to consider and even less time to spend with friends. As Velander says, it's good to "cherish the relationship you have had and look forward to your relationship in the future, knowing that it will be different in some ways" -- I hope perhaps in better and even deeper ways.
On a less serious note -- and inspired by the movie Bridesmaids -- I want to give a shout-out to the best bridesmaids ever, who:
- Took the initiative to coordinate all schedules months ago (for 7 ladies, including me), even though there are still months to go before the wedding.
- Are planning a bachelorette party weekend in Miami, and 6 weeks ago went ahead and booked my airfare and hotel stay (I might have to do the awkward hide-money-somewhere-so-they-find-it-later trick).
- Asked me what type of massage I prefer so they could book me a Miami spa service.
- Made the bridesmaid dress selection process not only a breeze for me (I basically had to do nothing), but also fun.
- Agreed on a bridal shower date months in advance and apparently have some very interesting ideas but won't tell me a thing.
- Bottom line: They are totally awesome!
I feel really blessed to have such wonderful and supportive women in my corner, and honored to be able to stand next to them on my wedding day. The 6 bridesmaids are in varying stages: 2 are not married, 2 are married, and 2 are married with one child each. I'm excited to see where our paths will take us and hopeful that our friendships will continue to grow over time. I'm looking forward to grieving the loss of my single life in Miami.
Also, it's my 1st blogiversary (almost)! My initial post was on January 27, 2011. So if you are reading now, or have ever read or commented, thank you!